Longford 8 Group of Churches Blog Site

We welcome the Bishop Alastair to Long Lane to lead our celebration of the 150th anniversary of the opening of Christ Church, Long Lane for worship.
A very warm welcome also to others who are joining us for this special occasion
Readings Daniel 7.9-10,13-14; Revelation 1.4b-8 ; John 18.33-37

We remember in our prayers
Today Wau - (Sudan) The Rt Revd Henry Cuir Riak
Erewash Deanery - Rural Dean: Ian Gooding, Lay Chair: Richard Henderson Smith
Monday Wellington - (New Zealand) The Rt Revd Dr Thomas John Brown
MMA 48a - Wilne, Draycott, Breaston
Tuesday West Ankole - (Uganda) The Rt Revd William Magamb
Clergy: Chris Smedley, Rachel Thompson
Wednesday West Buganda - (Uganda) The Rt Revd Samuel Cephas Kamya
Stanton-by-Dale, Dale Abbey, Risley
Thursday West Malaysia - (South East Asia) The Rt Revd Ng Moon Hing
Assistant Bishop of West Malaysia - (South East Asia) The Rt Revd Batumalai
Assistant Bishop of West Malaysia - (South East Asia) The Rt Revd Andrew Phang
Clergy: Ian Gooding, Gary Dundas
Friday West Missouri - (Province VII, USA) The Rt Revd Barry Robert Howe
Mapperley, West Hallam, Stanley and Stanley Common
Saturday West Tennessee - (Province IV, USA) The Rt Revd Don E Johnson
Clergy: Simon White, BJ Facey, Peter Owen-Jones.
Notices for the week
Today - Christ the King
10.30a.m. Holy Communion & celebration of the 150th anniversary of Christ Church, Long Lane
Celebrant & Preacher: The Bishop of Derby (Rt Rev Alastair Redfern)
3.00p.m., Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Saturday 28th November
2.00p.m. Christingle Fair
- Church Broughton School
Next Sunday - Advent 1
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion for the MMA - St Cuthbert’s, Doveridge
Advance Notice
Saturday, 5th December
“Three M’s Evening” (Music, Mulled Wine & Mince Pies) at Yje Old Forge, Long Lane at 7.30p.m., Proceeds in aid of “Help for Heroes”. All welcome
Bible in a year challenge
You are invited to join in the “Bible in a year challenge” starting from 1st January 2010. A special edition of the Bible which provides passages each day from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the set passages each day, by the end of the year you will have read the entire Bible.
If you would like to take part, then let the Rector know. By ordering copies of the “Every Day with Jesus Bible” as a group, we will be able to purchase copies at a reduced price. The standard price is £14-99, if we order 3-10 copies, the cost will be reduced to £12-49 and by a further 50p if we have between 11 and 25, with further reductions for higher numbers.
If you want to take part, please tell the Rector by 18th November so that the copies can be ordered in good time for delivery.
Sunday Groaner
What are angels like?
Try asking school children that question, and you’ll get some imaginative replies!
Like these….
I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold. - Gregory, 5
Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. Olive, 9
Advance Notice
Christmas Lunch in aid of All Saints, Dalbury on Friday 4th December.
To book contact Jean Goodall 01332-514314
Carol Services
Sunday 13th December
3.00p.m. Radbourne
6.30p.m. Longford
Tuesday 15th December
7.30p.m. Church Broughton
Friday 18th December
7.30p.m. Boylestone
Sunday 20th December
3.00p.m. Dalbury
6.30p.m. Sutton
7.00p.m. Long Lane
Christmas Eve Services
5.00p.m., Crib Service - Church Broughton
10.00p.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
10.00p.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.30p.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.30p.m. Holy Communion - Longford
Christmas Day Services
9.45a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
10.15a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
Sunday 27th December
10.30a.m. United Holy Communion - Long Lane
Sunday 3rd January
10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
Followed by New Year Lunch
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-    
http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Reading Daniel 12.1-3; Hebrews 10.11-14(15-18)19-25; Mark 13.1-8
We remember in our prayers
Today Virginia - (Province III, USA) The Rt Revd Shannon Sherwood Johnston
Suffragan Bishop of Virginia - (Province III, USA) The Rt Revd David Colin Jones
Diocesan Education Team - Officers: Phil Moncur, Alison Brown, Alistair Langton, Helen Proudfoot
Monday Waiapu - (New Zealand) The Rt Revd David Rice
Suffragan Bishop of Waiapu - (New Zealand)
Vacant Allestree St Nicholas, Quarndon
Tuesday Waikato - (New Zealand) The Most Revd David John Moxon
Waikato - Taranaki Region - (New Zealand) The Rt Revd Philip Richardson
Clergy: William Bates, Jill Needle
Wednesday Wakefield - (York, England) The Rt Revd Stephen Platten
Wakefield - Pontefract - (York, England) The Rt Revd Anthony William Robinson
Mugginton, Kedleston, Kirk Langley, Mackworth, Markeaton
Thursday Wangaratta - (Victoria, Australia) The Rt Revd Ralph David Farrer
Clergy: Ian Mitchell
Friday Warri - (Province of Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Christian Ideh
MMA 45 - Duffield and Little Eaton
Saturday Washington - (Province III, USA) The Rt Revd John Bryson Chane
Clergy: Mark Pickles, David Barnsley
Notices for the week
Today - 2 before Advent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
No service at Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion - Trusley
1.30p.m. Holy Baptism - Sutton
2.30p.m. Evensong - Long LaneWednesday10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long LaneSaturday11.00a.m. Funeral of Elizabeth Greta Innes-Smith - Trusley

Next Sunday - Christ the King
10.30a.m. Holy Communion & celebration of the 150th anniversary of Christ Church, Long Lane
Celebrant & Preacher: The Bishop of Derby (Rt Rev Alastair Redfern)
3.00p.m., Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Treatment of the woodworm will be carried out in St. Michael’s Church Broughton during November. As a result the church will be closed for all services and vistors from Monday 9th November to 23rd November. There will be no service in Church Broughton on 15th or 22nd November. Worshippers are invited to join with other churches on those days.
Advance Notice
Sunday 29th November
10.30a.m. MMA Service of Holy Communion at St Cuthbert’s, Doveridge
Saturday 28th November
2.00p.m. Christingle Fair
- Church Broughton School
“We’ll meet again” Evening - Dalbury Village Hall (in aid of St Andrew’s, Radbourne)
Bible in a year challenge
You are invited to join in the “Bible in a year challenge” starting from 1st January 2010. A special edition of the Bible which provides passages each day from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the set passages each day, by the end of the year you will have read the entire Bible.
If you would like to take part, then let the Rector know. By ordering copies of the “Every Day with Jesus Bible” as a group, we will be able to purchase copies at a reduced price. The standard price is £14-99, if we order 3-10 copies, the cost will be reduced to £12-49 and by a further 50p if we have between 11 and 25, with further reductions for higher numbers.
If you want to take part, please tell the Rector by 18th November so that the copies can be ordered in good time for delivery.
Sunday Groaner
Some thoughts on genealogy
~ Genealogy: tracing yourself back to better people.

~ I trace my family history so I will know who to blame.

~ Can a first cousin, once removed, return?

~ Searching for lost relatives? Find them fast - win the lottery!

~ Do you even WANT ancestors?

Harder
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
going dead?

Still
We childproof our homes, but they are still getting in.

Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-   
http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings Jonah 3.1-5,10; Hebrews 9.24-28; Mark 1.14-20
We remember in our prayers
Today Uyo - (Province of the Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Isaac Orama
Duffield Deanery - Rural Dean: William Bates, Lay Chair: Richard Chapman [The Rev'd Stephen Shipley to be collated and installed as Honorary Canon of Derby Cathedral]
Monday Vanuatu - (Melanesia) The Rt Revd James Marvin Ligo
Belper Christ Church, Turnditch, St Anne's Ambergate with Sawmills
Tuesday Vellore - (South India) The Rt Revd Yesuratnam William
Clergy: (Jonathan Page), Alison Roome
Wednesday Venezuela - (Province IX, USA) The Rt Revd Orlando Guerrero
Hazelwood and Shottle, Milford, Holbrook
Thursday Vermont - (Province I, USA) The Rt Revd Thomas C Ely
Clergy: Robert Harris
Friday Victoria Nyanza - (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Boniface Kwangu
MMA 44 - Allestree St Edmund, Darley Abbey
Saturday Virgin Islands - (Province II, USA) The Rt Revd Edward Ambrose Gumbs
Clergy: Chris Dyer, Jill Caldwell. Curate: Peter Mallinson
Notices for the week
Today - 3 before Advent - Remembrance
9.30a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance
- Church Broughton
10.55a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance - Trusley
11.00a.m. Remembrance Service - Sutton
(officiant Joe Cant)
11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance - Radbourne
2.30p.m. Evensong & Remembrance - Long Lane
5.00p.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong & Remembrance - Longford
Next Sunday  2 before Advent
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
No service at Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion - Trusley
1.30p.m. Holy Baptism - Sutton
2.30p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Treatment of the woodworm will be carried out in St. Michael’s Church Broughton during November. As a result the church will be closed for all services and vistors from Monday 9th November to 23rd November. There will be no service in Church Broughton on 15th or 22nd November. Worshippers are invited to join with other churches on those days.
Special Service arrangements in November
On Sunday 22nd November the Bishop of Derby will be coming to Christ Church, Long Lane to mlead the celebration of the 150th anniversary of the consecration of the church. He will be celebrating Holy Communion at 10.30a.m..
Sunday 29th November
10.30a.m. MMA Service of Holy Communion at St Cuthbert’s, Doveridge

Saturday 28th November
2.00p.m. Christingle Fair
- Church Broughton School
“We’ll meet again” Evening - Dalbury Village Hall (in aid of St Andrew’s, Radbourne)
Bible in a year challenge
You are invited to join in the “Bible in a year challenge” starting from 1st January 2010. A special edition of the Bible which provides passages each day from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the set passages each day, by the end of the year you will have read the entire Bible.
If you would like to take part, then let the Rector know. By ordering copies of the “Every Day with Jesus Bible” as a group, we will be able to purchase copies at a reduced price. The standard price is £14-99, if we order 3-10 copies, the cost will be reduced to £12-49 and by a further 50p if we have between 11 and 25, with further reductions for higher numbers.
If you want to take part, please tell the Rector by 18th November so that the copies can be ordered in good time for delivery.
Sunday Groaner
Miscellaneous observations
Dijon Vu - the same mustard as before.

By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb over the fence.

The psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.

I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.

God may have made our relatives - but thank God we can choose our friends!

98 per cent of the time I am right. Why worry about the other three per cent?

The fridge light DOES go out. Now let me out of here!!

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

How do you find where a flea has bitten you? Start from scratch!

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-   
http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

To view click the icon, and download. View with Adobe Reader

Readings Wisdom of Solomon 3.1-9; Revelation 21.1-6; John 11.32-44
We remember in our prayers
Today Ughelli - (Province of Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Vincent O Muoghereh
Rajasthan - Bishop Collin Christopher TheodoreMonday Ukwa - (Province of the Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Kelechi
MMA 42 - Sinfin Moor, Sinfin St Stephen
Tuesday Umuahia - (Province of the Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Dr. Ikechi Nwachukwu Nwosu
Clergy: (Vacant), Paul Sandford
Wednesday Umzimvubu - (South Africa) The Rt Revd Mbilo Ngewu
Retired clergy (Derby South): Jeremy Allum, Brian Andrew, Paul Barrett, Teresa Binley, Barrie Blowers, David Ditch, Eric Dixon, Alan Havard, Michael Huggett, Jim Innes, Ray Joyce, David Kirkwood, Basil Munro, Peter Peterken, Bill Potts, David Runcorn, Roland Wallis, John Warman, Sybil Wetton
Thursday Upper South Carolina - (Province IV, USA) The Rt Revd Dorsey Felix Henderson
Retired clergy (Duffield): Stuart Baxter, Derek Beech, Tony Betts, Roger Crosthwaite, Harold Dobbin, Ian Gatford, David Gough, John King, Peter Lyne, Honor Meynell, Trevor Pearce, Glenys Plant, Norma Pritchard, John Rice, David Rowley, Kenneth Servante
Friday Uruguay - (South America) The Rt Revd Miguel Tamayo
Uruguay - (South America) The Rt Revd Gilberto Obdulio Porcal Martinez
MMA 43. Ten years ago there were seven stipendiary clergy working in the Belper area. Now there is one. Pray for the churches with vacancies.
Saturday Utah - (Province VIII, USA) The Rt Revd Carolyn Tanner Irish
St Peter's Parish, Belper, St Luke's Heage. Clergy: (Vacant), April Tompkins. [The Rev'd Andy Broom to be licensed as Director of Mission and Ministry]
Notices for the week
Today - All Saints’ Day
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service  - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Wednesday 10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
Next Sunday  3 before Advent - Remembrance
9.30a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance
- Church Broughton
10.55a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance - Trusley
11.00a.m. Remembrance Service - Sutton
(officiant Joe Cant)
11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance - Radbourne
2.30p.m. Evensong & Remembrance - Long Lane
5.00p.m. Holy Communion & Remembrance - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong & Remembrance - Longford
Advance Notice
Treatment of the woodworm will be carried out in St. Michael’s Church Broughton during November. As a result the church will be closed for all services and vistors from Monday 9th November to 23rd November. There will be no service in Church Broughton on 15th or 22nd November. Worshippers are invited to join with other churches on those days.
Special Service arrangements in November
On Sunday 22nd November the Bishop of Derby will be coming to Christ Church, Long Lane to mlead the celebration of the 150th anniversary of the consecration of the church. He will be celebrating Holy Communion at 10.30a.m..
Sunday 29th November
10.30a.m. MMA Service of Holy Communion at St Cuthbert’s, Doveridge

Saturday 28th November
2.00p.m. Christingle Fair
- Church Broughton School
“We’ll meet again” Evening - Dalbury Village Hall (in aid of St Andrew’s, Radbourne)
Bible in a year challenge
You are invited to join in the “Bible in a year challenge” starting from 1st January 2010. A special edition of the Bible which provides passages each day from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the set passages each day, by the end of the year you will have read the entire Bible.
If you would like to take part, then let the Rector know. By ordering copies of the “Every Day with Jesus Bible” as a group, we will be able to purchase copies at a reduced price. The standard price is £14-99, if we order 3-10 copies, the cost will be reduced to £12-49 and by a further 50p if we have between 11 and 25, with further reductions for higher numbers.
If you want to take part, please tell the Rector by 18th November so that the copies can be ordered in good time for delivery.
Sunday Groaner
Six items
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"
Can’t scare me
My wife and I were watching the gorillas at the zoo when several of them charged at the enclosure fence, yelling terribly, rolling their eyes around, and clenching their fists. They looked quite terrifying. The crowd scattered except for one elderly man, who did not bat an eye. Later, my wife asked him how he had kept his composure. "Oh, easy,” he said cheerfully. “You see, I used to drive a school bus."
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-   
http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Reading Job 42.1-6,10-17; Hebrews 7.23-28; Mark 10.46-52
We remember in our prayers
Today
Bishop of Toronto - (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Colin Robert Johnson
Toronto - Credit Valley - (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Philip Poole
Toronto - Trent-Durham - (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd Linda Nicholls
Toronto - York-Scarborough - (Ontario, Canada) The Revd Canon Patrick Yu
Toronto - York-Simcoe - (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd George Elliott
Pune: Bishop Vijay B. SatheMonday Toungoo - (Myanmar) The Rt Revd Saw John Wilme
Blagreaves
Tuesday
Trichy-Tanjore - (South India) The Rt Revd Dr G. Paul Vasanthakumar
Clergy: Paul Bysouth
Wednesday
Truro - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Timothy Martin Thornton
Truro - St Germans - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Royden Screech   
MMA 40 - Mickleover All Saints, St John's
Thursday
Trinidad & Tobago - (West Indies) The Rt Revd Calvin Wendell Bess
Clergy: (All Saints) Alan Ward, Mary Staunton; (St John's), Maureen Priddin. MMA Community Mission Pioneer: Sean Andrews
Friday
Truro - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Timothy Martin Thornton
Truro - St Germans - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Royden Screech
MMA 41 - St Giles, Normanton by Derby
Saturday
Tuam, Killala & Achonry - (Armagh, Ireland) The Rt Revd Dr Richard Crosbie Aitken Henderson
Clergy: Neil Barber, Andy Hutchinson
Notices for the week
Today - Last Sunday after Trinity
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
1.30p.m. Holy Baptism - Church Broughton
3.00p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Wednesday
8.00p.m. PCC Meeting - Sutton
Friday
7.30p.m. Choir Concert by United Benefice Choir - Sutton
7.30p.m. Barn Dance - Wyaston Village Hall
Saturday
11.00a.m.Presentation to Judith Kelsey - Chapel Schoolroom, Church Broughton
Next Sunday  - All Saints’ Day
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service  - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Advance Notice
Treatment of the woodworm will be carried out in St. Michael’s Church Broughton during November. As a result the church will be closed for all services and vistors from Monday 9th November to 23rd November. There will be no service in Church Broughton on 15th or 22nd November. Worshippers are invited to join with other churches on those days.
Special Service arrangements in November
On Sunday 22nd November the Bishop of Derby will be coming to Christ Church, Long Lane to mlead the celebration of the 150th anniversary of the consecration of the church. He will be celebrating Holy Communion at 10.30a.m..
Sunday 29th November
10.30a.m. MMA Service of Holy Communion at St Cuthbert’s, Doveridge
Saturday 28th November
“We’ll meet again” Evening - Dalbury Village Hall (in aid of St Andrew’s, Radbourne)
Bible in a year challenge
You are invited to join in the “Bible in a year challenge” starting from 1st January 2010. A special edition of the Bible which provides passages each day from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. If you read the set passages each day, by the end of the year you will have read the entire Bible.
If you would like to take part, then let the Rector know. By ordering copies of the “Every Day with Jesus Bible” as a group, we will be able to purchase copies at a reduced price. The standard price is £14-99, if we order 3-10 copies, the cost will be reduced to £12-49 and by a further 50p if we have between 11 and 25, with further reductions for higher numbers.
If you want to take part, please tell the Rector by 18th November so that the copies can be ordered in good time for delivery.
Sunday Groaner
When Insults Had Class
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to four-letter words and a “you”:

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." – Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop 

Feel sorry for their teachers....
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-   
http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings Isaiah 35.3-6; 2 Timothy 4.5-17; Luke 10.1-9
Harvest at Dalbury
Readings Deuteronomy 8:7-18; 1 Timothy 2:1-7;  Matthew 6:25-33
We remember in our prayers
Today The Gulf - (Pakistan) The Rt Revd Azad Marshall
Phulbani: Bishop Bijay Kumar Nayak 
Monday The Murray - (South Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Ross Owen Davies
MMA 38 - Walbrook Epiphany Team
Tuesday Thika - (Kenya) The Rt Revd Gideon Gichuhi Githiga
Area Vicar: Andy Ward
Wednesday Tirunelveli - (South India) The Rt Revd Jeyapaul David Swamidawson
Derby St James   
Thursday Toamasina - (Indian Ocean) The Rt Revd Jean Paul Solo
Derby St Thomas
Friday Tohoku - (Japan) The Rt Revd John Hiromichi Kato
MMA 39 - Littleover with the Haven       
Saturday Tokyo - (Japan) The Rt Revd Peter Jintaro Ueda
Clergy: Jackie Searle, Roger Gray
Notices for the week
Today - Luke - Dalbury Harvest
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Dalbury
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion - Dalbury
12.15p.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
2.30p.m. Holy Baptism - Church Broughton
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
Tuesday 2.00p.m. PCC Meeting - Longford
Wednesday 10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
Saturday 12.30p.m. Pie & Pea Lunch - Boylestone
Next Sunday  - Last Sunday after Trinity
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
3.00p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Friday 30th October
7.30p.m. Choir Concert by United Benefice Choir - Sutton
7.30p.m. Barn Dance - Wyaston Village Hall
Saturday 28th November
“We’ll meet again” Evening - Dalbury Village Hall (in aid of St Andrew’s, Radbourne)
Sunday Groaner
Arrested
It was the end of the day when ;the policeman  parked his police van in front of the station. As he gathered his equipment, his  K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and he saw a little boy on the pavement staring in at him. “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked.
“It sure is,” he replied.
Wide-eyed, the boy looked at him and then towards the back of the van. Finally he ventured: “What'd he do, then?”

Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Reading Job 23.1-9,16-17; Hebrews 4.12-16; Mark 10.17-31
Harvest at Radbourne
Holy Communion: 1 Timothy 2:1-7; Matthew 6:25-33
Evensong -  Reading Deuteronomy 8:7-18; Luke 12:11-19
We remember in our prayers
Today Tanga - (Tanzania) The Rt Revd Phillip D Baji
Derby South Deanery - Rural Dean: Paul Sandford, Lay Chair: Peter Vincent
Monday Tasmania - (Ex-P, Australia) The Rt Revd John Douglas Harrower
St Luke, St Bartholomew. The Revd Andy Broom to take up the post of Director of Mission and Ministry
Tuesday Temotu - (Melanesia)   
Clergy: Graham Sillis
Wednesday Tennessee - (Province IV, USA) The Revd John C Bauerschmidt
Retired clergy (Derby North): Donald Anderson, Jack Archer, Sheana Barby, Jeremy Burslem, Pat Gower, Jim Muston, David Phypers, Arthur Redman, Charles Rose, Dot Simpkin, Paul Simpkin, Stephen Turnbull, Gordon Whitty, Michael Brinkworth, Malcolm Duthie
Thursday Bishop of Texas - (Province VII, USA) The Rt Revd Don Adger Wimberly
Suffragan Bishop of Texas - (Privince VII, USA) The Rt Revd Rayford Bains High
Suffragan Bishop of Texas - (Province VII, USA) The Ven Dena A Harrison
Emergency services; diocesan emergency planning officer Alan Winfield; Police Chaplains
Friday Thoothukudi - Nazareth - (South India) The Rt Revd J A D Jebachandran
St George's College, Jerusalem; Diocesan Representative: Frank Smith
Saturday The Arctic - (Rupert's Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Andrew P Atagotaaluk
1.Suffragan Bishop of The Arctic - (Rupert's Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Larry D Robertson
3. Suffragan Bishop of the Arctic - (Rupert's Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Benjamin Arreak
Church's Ministry among Jewish People; Area Contact: John ColbournNotices for the week
Today - Trinity 18 - Harvest - Radbourne
8.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
Friday 7.30p.m. Boylestone Choir Concert - Boylestone
Saturday 7.30p.m. Pebbles & Pennies - Church Broughton (“A glorious rollercoaster ride through story, music & song”)
Next Sunday  Trinity 19 - Dalbury Harvest
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Dalbury
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion - Dalbury
12.15p.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
2.30p.m. Holy Baptism - Church Broughton
Evensong - Long Lane
Friday 30th October
7.30p.m. Choir Concert by United Benefice Choir - Sutton
7.30p.m. Barn Dance - Wyaston Village Hall
Saturday 28th November
“We’ll meet again” Evening - Dalbury Village Hall (in aid of St Andrew’s, Radbourne)
Sunday Groaner
Six items
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

To view the Magazine entry, click the link below then download the pdf file.

Harvest Services Readings Joel 2.21-27; 1 Timothy 2.1-7; Matthew 6.25-33
Evensong Deuteronomy 26.1-11; John 6:25-35
Readings James 5.13-20; Mark 9.38-50
We remember in our prayers
Today The Most Revd David Robert Chillingworth Primus of the Scottish Episcopal Church & Bishop of St Andrews, Dunkeld & Dunblane
North-East India: Bishop Purely Lyngdoh
Monday St Asaph - (Wales) The Rt Revd Gregory Cameron
MMA 33 - Spondon
Tuesday St David's - (Wales) The Rt Revd John Wyn Evans
Clergy: Julian Hollywell, Pat Gower, Jeremy Burslem, Eleanor Berry  
Wednesday St Edmundsbury & Ipswich - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd William Nigel Stock
St Edmundsbury & Ipswich - Dunwich - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Clive Young
MMA 34 - Chaddesden St Mary
Thursday St Helena - (South Africa) The Rt Revd John William Salt
Friday St Mark the Evangelist - (South Africa) The Rt Revd Martin Andre Breytenbach
MMA 34 - Chaddesden St Mary. The Revd Michael Mitton to be appointed Priest-in-Charge of Derby, St Paul, whilst working as a freelance writer, trainer and consultant 
Saturday Sunyani - (West Africa) The Revd Canon Festus Yeboah-Asuamah
MMA 35 - Derby St Alkmund and St Werburgh
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 16 - Harvest - Long Lane & Sutton
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
7.00p.m. Harvest Evensong - Long Lane
Monday 11.00a.m. Funeral of Christopher Foot - Longford
Wednesday 10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
Friday 9.30a.m. School Harvest - Church Broughton
2.30p.m. School Harvest - Longford
7.00p.m. Harvest Evensong followed by Harvest Supper - Boylestone
7.30p.m. Long Lane Harvest Supper
Saturday Church Broughton Harvest Supper
Next Sunday - Trinity 17
Harvest -  Boylestone, Church Broughton, Longford, & Trusley
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Tuesday 6th October 7.30p.m. Longford Harvest Supper
Saturday 12th OctoberS
Harvest Organ Recital by Dr David Wells - Radbourne
Admission Free - Donations to St Andrew’s, Radbourne Church Funds invited.
Friday 16th October 7.30p.m. Boylestone Choir Concert - Boylestone
Saturday 17th October
7.30p.m. Pebbles & Pennies - Church Broughton (“A glorious rollercoaster ride through story, music & song”)
Friday 30th October
7.30p.m. Choir Concert by United Benefice Choir - Sutton
7.30p.m. Barn Dance - Wyaston Village Hall
Saturday 28th November
“We’ll meet again” Evening - Dalbury Village Hall (in aid of St Andrew’s, Radbourne)
Sunday Groaner
Family Bible surprise
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mum, look what I found,” the boy called out.
“What have you got there, dear?”
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, “I think it's Adam's underwear!”
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

SWINE FLU AND HOLY COMMUNION
Advice received from the Archbishops & an the Bishop of Derby is that in view of the threat of the spread of Swine Flu, the sharing of the Cup at Holy Communion should be suspended. Holy Communion will be administered either in one Kind or  by “intinction” (the priest dips the Bread in the wine). Anti-bacterial gel will be used by the priest before handling the Elements.
Readings Proverbs 31.10-31; James 3.13-4.3,7-8a; Mark 9.30-37
Reading at Longford Matthew 6:19-end
We remember in our prayers
Today Southwark - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Thomas Frederick Butler
Southwark - Croydon - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Nicholas Baines
Southwark - Kingston-upon-Thames - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Richard Ian Cheetham
Southwark - Woolwich - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Christopher Thomas Chessun
Derby North Deanery: Rural Dean: Jonathan Page, Lay Chair: Rosemary Lancaster
Monday Southwell & Nottingham - (York, England) The Rt Revd Paul Butler )Bishop designate
Southwell - Sherwood - (York, England) The Rt Revd Anthony Porter
MMA 31 - Oakwood
Tuesday Southwest Florida - (Province IV, USA) The Rt Revd Dabney T Smith
Clergy: Lindsay Hughes, Jo Whitehead. RC Priest: Fr. Gerry Murphy
Wednesday Southwestern Virginia - (Province III, USA) The Rt Revd Frank Neff Powell
Breadsall
Thursday Spokane - (Province VIII, USA) The Rt Revd James Edward Waggoner
Clergy: Colin Pearson, Diana Morrison
Friday Springfield - (Province V, USA) The Rt Revd Peter Hess Beckwith
MMA 32 - Chaddesden St Philip and St Mark
Saturday St Albans - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Alan Gregory Clayton Smith
St Albans - Bedford - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Richard Neil Inwood
St Albans - Hertford - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Christopher Richard James Foster
Clergy: Jonathan Page, Michael Futers
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 15
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion -Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion - Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Monday 7.15p.m. Boylestone PCC
Wednesday 7.30p.m. Churcb Broughton PCC
Friday 9.30a.m. School Harvest - Church Broughton
2.45p.m. School Harvest - Long Lane
Next Sunday - Trinity 16
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
11.00a.m. Harvest Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Harvest Family Service - Sutton
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
7.00p.m. Harvest Evensong - Long Lane
Advance Notice
Please note that as from August there will be a change in service arrangements in Church Broughton & Sutton. On the THIRD Sunday of the month there will be NO 11a.m. service in Sutton.8.00a.m. Holy Communion  will continue as before.On the FOURTH Sunday of month the service in Church Broughton will be 8.00a.m. Holy Communion  (NO 9.30a.m. Service)
Friday 2nd October 7.00p.m. Boylestone Harvest Service followed by Harvest Supper
7.30p.m. Long Lane Harvest Supper
Saturday 3rd October 7.30p.m. Church Broughton Harvest Supper
Tuesday 6th October 7.30p.m. Longford Harvest Supper
Saturday 12th October
Harvest Organ Recital by Dr David Wells - Radbourne
Admission Free - Donations to St Andrew’s, Radbourne Church Funds invited.
Friday 16th October 7.30p.m. Boylestone Choir Concert - Boylestone
Sunday Groaner
Always on a Sunday
The irate customer called the newsagents, loudly demanding to know where the Sunday edition of her newspaper was. "Madam,” said the newsagent patiently, “We have not delivered your Sunday newspaper because today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday."
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a sigh of wakening understanding. "Well, now ... so that's why no one was at church today."
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

SWINE FLU AND HOLY COMMUNION
Advice received from the Archbishops & an the Bishop of Derby is that in view of the threat of the spread of Swine Flu, the sharing of the Cup at Holy Communion should be suspended. Holy Communion will be administered either in one Kind or  by “intinction” (the priest dips the Bread in the wine). Anti-bacterial gel will be used by the priest before handling the Elements.
Readings Proverbs 22.1-2,8-9,22-23;James 2.1-17; Mark 7.24-37
We remember in our prayers
Today The Most Revd John Wilson Gladstone Moderator, Church of South India & Bishop of South Kerala
Nagpur: Bishop Paul Dupare
Monday South Rwenzori - (Uganda) The Rt Revd Jackson Nzerebende Tembo
Whittington and New Whittington
Tuesday South West Tanganyika - (Tanzania) Vacant
Clergy: (Vacant)
Wednesday South Western Brazil - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Jubal Pereira Neves
Dronfield Team - Dronfield
Thursday Southeast Florida - (Province IV, USA) The Rt Revd Leopold Frade
Clergy: Dick Dove
Friday Southeastern Mexico - (Mexico) The Rt Revd Benito Juarez-Martinez
Gosforth Valley, Unstone
Saturday Southern Brazil - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Orlando Santos de Oliveira  
Clergy: Jonathan Haigh
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 13
8.00a.m. Holy Communion-Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Tuesday 7.30p.m. Long Lane PCC
Saturday
Historic Churches’ Bike & Hike
2.30p.m. Wedding - Sutton
Next Sunday - Trinity 14
8.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion  - Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong - Longford
Advance Notice
Please note that as from August there will be a change in service arrangements in Church Broughton & Sutton. On the THIRD Sunday of the month there will be NO 11a.m. service in Sutton.8.00a.m. Holy Communion  will continue as before.On the FOURTH Sunday of month the service in Church Broughton will be 8.00a.m. Holy Communion  (NO 9.30a.m. Service)
Charity Concert by Long Lane Choir 12th September supporting Derbyshire Children's Holiday Centre, Skegness.  At Brailsford Village Hall at 7.30 pm.  Tickets £5 (to include light refreshments)  from Mike Lenderyou on 01335 330446.The programme includes "Bridge Over Troubled Waters", "Home Sweet Home" etc and extracts from Oklahoma, and West Side Story
Friday 18th September 7.30p.m. Harvest Supper - Sutton
Tickets £7-50  (children £4-00) from Roy Bosworth or Don Bailey
Friday 2nd October 7.00p.m. Boylestone Harvest Service followed by Harvest Supper
7.30p.m. Long Lane Harvest Supper
Saturday 3rd October 7.30p.m. Church Broughton Harvest Supper
Tuesday 6th October 7.30p.m. Longford Harvest Supper
Saturday 12th October
Harvest Organ Recital by Dr David Wells - Radbourne
Admission Free - Donations to St Andrew’s, Radbourne Church Funds invited.
Friday 16th October 7.30p.m. Boylestone Choir Concert - Boylestone
Sunday Groaner
Fair cop?
While taking a routine vandalism report at an infants school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a cop?”
“Yes,”  I answered and continued writing the report.
“My mum said if I ever needed help,  I should ask the police. Is that right?”  she ventured.
“Yes, that's right,” I told her, and added expansively:  “We are always here for you.”
The little girl smiled, and looked reassured.  “Well, then,” she said, as she extended her foot toward me, “would you please tie my shoe?”
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

To read PDF File download Adobe Reader from
http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html

SWINE FLU AND HOLY COMMUNION
Advice received from the Archbishops & an the Bishop of Derby is that in view of the threat of the spread of Swine Flu, the sharing of the Cup at Holy Communion should be suspended. Holy Communion will be administered either in one Kind or  by “intinction” (the priest dips the Bread in the wine). Anti-bacterial gel will be used by the priest before handling the Elements.
Readings
2 Samuel 18.5-9,15,31-33; Ephesians 4.25-5.2; John 6.35,41-51
We remember in our prayers
Phylllis Hill who died on 1st August
Today Ruwenzori - (Uganda) The Rt Revd Benezeri Kisembo
Chesterfield Deanery: Rural Dean: Nigel Johnson, Assistant: Andy Broom, Lay Chair: David Iliffe
Monday Bishop of Sabah - (South East Asia) The Rt Revd Albert Vun Cheong Fui
Suffragan Bishop of Sabah - (South East Asia) The Rt Revd Chen Fah Yong
MMA 16 - Ashover, Brackenfield, Wessington, Handley
Tuesday Sabongidda-Ora - (Province of Bendel, Nigeria) The Rt Revd John Akao
Clergy: Ralph Lawrence
Wednesday Saldanha Bay - (South Africa) The Rt Revd Raphael Hess
MMA 17a - North Wingfield Team, North Wingfield, Tupton
Thursday Salisbury - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd David A Stancliffe
Salisbury - Ramsbury - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Stephen Conway
Salisbury - Sherborne - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Graham Kings
Clergy: Charles Beresford
Friday Sambalpur - (North India) The Rt Revd Christ Kiron Das
Clay Cross, Pilsley, Handley, Danesmoor
Saturday San Diego - (Province VIII, USA) The Rt Revd James Mathes
Clergy: Linda Liversidge, Mark Broomhead. Retired Priest: Michael Fermer
Notices for the week Today - Trinity 9
8.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
5.00p.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong - Longford
Friday
2.00p.m. Funeral of Mrs Phyllis Hill
- Boylestone
Saturday
1.30p.m. Wedding - Church Broughton
Next Sunday - Trinity 10
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
(Note this is the ONLY service in Sutton today. Those seeking a later service are encouraged to join with worsippers in one of the other churches of the benefice)
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
12noon Holy Communion (said service)- Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Advance Notice
Please note that as from August there will be a change in service arrangements in Church Broughton & Sutton. On the THIRD Sunday of the month there will be NO 11a.m. service in Sutton.8.00a.m. Holy Communion  will continue as before.On the FOURTH Sunday of month the service in Church Broughton will be 8.00a.m. Holy Communion  (NO 9.30a.m. Service)
Sunday Groaner
How fast do you go?
Sitting by the side of the road one day, on the lookout for speeding drivers, a police officer spotted a car puttering along at 20 mph. He thought to himself: "That driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over.
Approaching the car, he noticed that the four passengers were all old ladies, and all wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, also a very elderly lady, was upset at being stopped. "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit!”
"Madam," the officer replied patiently, "you weren't doing the speed limit, you were driving at 20 miles an hour. That can be dangerous to other drivers.”
"But it says A20 on the sign over there - and so I was doing it!” she protested.
“But that is the road number, not the speed limit.”
“Well, I never! That explains a lot,” said the old lady in evident relief.
“Before I let you go, madam, I have to ask, is everyone in this car okay? Your passengers seem awfully shaken.”
“Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off the A120."

Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

SWINE FLU AND HOLY COMMUNION
Advice received from the Archbishops and the Bishop of Derby is that in view of the threat of the spread of Swine Flu, the sharing of the Cup at Holy Communion should be suspended. Holy Communion will be administered either in one Kind or  by “intinction” (the priest dips the Bread in the wine). Anti-bacterial gel will be used by the priest before handling the Elements. Copies of the Archbishops’ & Bishop’s letter read as follows:-
Dear Colleague,
The Archbishops of Canterbury and York have sent the following statement regarding the current Swine Flu situation.
I think it would be sensible to follow these procedures until further notice.
+Alastair
To: Diocesan Bishops
The Feast of St Mary Magdalene
22nd July 2009
Dear Colleague,
It now seems right to offer guidance at a national level about how the Church of England’s worship might best take into account the interests of public health during the current phase of the swine flu pandemic.
The Department of Health have recently advised us that “in a pandemic it makes good sense to take precautions to limit the spread of disease by not sharing common vessels for food and drink”. In the light of this advice, we recommend those presiding at Holy Communion suspend the administration of the chalice during this wave of pandemic flu_1_ . For those who still wish to offer in both kinds, we recommend the practice whereby the presiding minister, whose hands should have been washed with the appropriate alcohol-based rub before handling the elements and the vessels, personally intincts all wafers before placing them in the hands of communicants. This is a practice widely observed in Anglican churches throughout Africa. Communicants receiving in this way need to be confident that the clergy and all assistant ministers follow the relevant guidance on hygiene.
The Bishop of Ripon & Leeds circulated substantial guidance, including a summary of the government’s advice_2_ , with his letter of 23 June_3_ . Many of you have already issued local guidance based upon its content. We regard it as important that those presiding at Holy Communion are aware of this advice_4_ and of that contained in this letter. They should offer guidance to the congregation about appropriate precautions in receiving communion and exchanging the peace.
We shall keep this advice under review and will ensure that the detailed guidance provided on the Church of England website_5_ is kept up-to-date. In the meantime, we wish to express our gratitude to you and those who share your ministry for the pastoral care and service offered at this time of national concern.
+Rowan Cantuar: +Sentamu Ebor:
Readings 2 Samuel 11.26-12.13a; Ephesians 4.1-16; John 6.24-35
We remember in our prayers
Phylllis Hill who died on 1st August
Today Rochester USA: Bishop Prince Singh
Kolkotta: Bishop P S P RajuMonday Rockhampton (Australia) BishopGodfrey Fryar
Fairfield: Carl Edwards
Tuesday Rokon (Sudan) Bishop Francis LayaBuxton, Trinity: Bob Marsden
Wednesday Ruaha (Tanzania) Bishop Donald Mtetemela
MMA 14: Hartington, Biggin, Earl Sterndale, Ttaddington, Chelmorton, Monyash
Thursday Rumbek (Sudan) Bishop Alapaya Kuctiel
Assistant Bishops: Isaac Ater; Micah Dawidi
Clergy: John Goldsmith, Mary Goldsmith, John Fountain
Friday Ruperts Land (Canada) Bishop Donald Phillips
MMA 15: Wormhill, Peak Forest, Peak Dale, Dove Holes: Frank Yates
Saturday Ruvuma (Tanzania) BishopMaternus Kapinga
Chapel-en-le-Frith: Nick Bralesford
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 8
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins - Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Wednesday
11am Funeral of Dick Woolley
Next Sunday - Trinity 9
8.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
5.00p.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong - Longford
Advance Notice
Please note that as from August there will be a change in service arrangements in Church Broughton & Sutton. On the THIRD Sunday of the month there will be NO 11a.m. service in Sutton.8.00a.m. Holy Communion  will continue as before.On the FOURTH Sunday of month the service in Church Broughton will be 8.00a.m. Holy Communion  (NO 9.30a.m. Service)
Sunday Groaner
Assistance?
In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a  student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.   The professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

For pdf files download Adobe Acrobat Reader

SWINE FLU AND HOLY COMMUNION
Advice received from the Archbishops and the Bishop of Derby is that in view of the threat of the spread of Swine Flu, the sharing of the Cup at Holy Communion should be suspended. Holy Communion will be administered either in one Kind or  by “intinction” (the priest dips the Bread in the wine). Anti-bacterial gel will be used by the priest before handling the Elements. Copies of the Archbishops’ & Bishop’s letter read as follows:-
Dear Colleague,
The Archbishops of Canterbury and York have sent the following statement regarding the current Swine Flu situation.
I think it would be sensible to follow these procedures until further notice.
+Alastair
To: Diocesan Bishops
The Feast of St Mary Magdalene
22nd July 2009
Dear Colleague,
It now seems right to offer guidance at a national level about how the Church of England’s worship might best take into account the interests of public health during the current phase of the swine flu pandemic.
The Department of Health have recently advised us that “in a pandemic it makes good sense to take precautions to limit the spread of disease by not sharing common vessels for food and drink”. In the light of this advice, we recommend those presiding at Holy Communion suspend the administration of the chalice during this wave of pandemic flu_1_ . For those who still wish to offer in both kinds, we recommend the practice whereby the presiding minister, whose hands should have been washed with the appropriate alcohol-based rub before handling the elements and the vessels, personally intincts all wafers before placing them in the hands of communicants. This is a practice widely observed in Anglican churches throughout Africa. Communicants receiving in this way need to be confident that the clergy and all assistant ministers follow the relevant guidance on hygiene.
The Bishop of Ripon & Leeds circulated substantial guidance, including a summary of the government’s advice_2_ , with his letter of 23 June_3_ . Many of you have already issued local guidance based upon its content. We regard it as important that those presiding at Holy Communion are aware of this advice_4_ and of that contained in this letter. They should offer guidance to the congregation about appropriate precautions in receiving communion and exchanging the peace.
We shall keep this advice under review and will ensure that the detailed guidance provided on the Church of England website_5_ is kept up-to-date. In the meantime, we wish to express our gratitude to you and those who share your ministry for the pastoral care and service offered at this time of national concern.
+Rowan Cantuar: +Sentamu Ebor:
Readings 2 Samuel 11.1-15; Ephesians 3.14-21;  John 6.1-21
We remember in our prayers
Today
Rhode Island - (Province I, USA) The Rt Revd Geralyn Wolf
Buxton Deanery: John Goldsmith (Rural Dean), Christine McMullen (Lay Chair)
Monday
Rift Valley - (Tanzania) The Rt Revd John Daudi Lupaa 
Retired Clergy (Bolsover & Staveley): Roy Bradshaw, Pauline Goldsmith, Stephen Goldsmith, Laurence Harris, Gordon Bevan, Derek Booth, Ian Falconer, Norman Harvey, Ernest Hume, Maurice Leeming, Robert Parker, David Wastie
Tuesday
Rio de Janeiro - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Celso Franco de Oliveira
Coadjutor - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Filadelfo Oliviera Neto
MMA 13 - Buxton, Burbage, King Sterndale
Wednesday
Rio Grande - (Province VII, USA)
Clergy: John Hudghton
Thursday
Ripon and Leeds - (York, England) The Rt Revd John Richard Packer
Ripon and Leeds - Knaresborough - (York, England) The Rt Revd James Harold Bell
Buxton, Burbage, King Sterndale
Friday
Riverina - (New South Wales, Australia) The Rt Revd Douglas Stevens
Churchwardens of MMA 13
Saturday
Rochester - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Michael Nazir-Ali
Rochester - Tonbridge - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Dr. Brian Colin Castle
Retired Clergy (Buxton): Philip Bridgwater, Desmond Carnelly, Alan Gibson, Martin Hulbert, Betty Packham, Geoffrey Prime, Don Sparkes
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 7
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Mattins - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton3.00p.m. Strawberry Tea - Trusley Memorial Hall
6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Saturday4.00p.m. Wedding - Church BroughtonNext Sunday - Trinity 8
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins - Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long LaneAdvance Notice
Please note that as from August there will be a change in service arrangements in Church Broughton & Sutton.
On the THIRD Sunday of the month there will be NO 11a.m. service in Sutton.8.00a.m. Holy Communion  will continue as before.
On the FOURTH Sunday of month the service in Church Broughton will be 8.00a.m. Holy Communion  (NO 9.30a.m. Service)
Sunday Groaner
Faith
Two ministers were driving in a taxi to the station, and were in some anxiety lest they should miss their train. One of them pulled out his watch and discovered it had stopped. “How annoying! I always put such faith in that watch!”
“In a case like this,” observed the other, “good works would evidently have worked better.”

Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings 2 Samuel 7.1-14a; Ephesians 2.11-22; Mark 6.30-34,53-56
We remember in our prayers
Today The Church of Pakistan The Rt Revd Samuel Azariah Moderator, Church of Pakistan & Bishop of Raiwind
Kolhapur: Bishop B. R. Tiwade
Monday Rajasthan - (North India) The Rt Revd Collin Christopher Theodore
Barlborough, Clowne 
Tuesday Rayalaseema - (South India) The Rt Revd K B Yesuvaraprasad
Clergy:John Pinder-Packard
Wednesday Bishop of Recife - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Sebastiao Armando Gameleira Soares
Assistant Bishop of Recife - (Brazil) Vacant
Eckington, Ridgeway
Thursday Rejaf - (Sudan) The Rt Revd Michael Sokiri Lugor
Clergy: (Vacant)
Friday Remo - (Province of Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Michael FapeKillamarsh,
Renishaw
Saturday Renk - (Sudan) Vacant
Clergy: Helen Guest, Michael Guest
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 5
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Holy Baptism - Dalbury
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
12noon Holy Communion - Trusley (May be slightly late)
6.30p.m. Come & Sing - Mendelssohn’s St Paul - Sudbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Tuesday 1.45p.m. Church Broughton Infants “Wedding” in church
Thursday
9.30a.m. (approx) School Leavers’ Service - Church Broughton
2.30p.m. (approx) School Leavers’ Service - Long Lane
Friday 12noon Funeral of Sidney Hall - Long Lane
Next Sunday - Trinity 6
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Mattins - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
3.00p.m. Strawberry Tea - Trusley Memorial Hall
6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Advance Notice
Please note that as from August there will be a change in service arrangements in Church Broughton & Sutton.
On the THIRD Sunday of the month there will be NO 11a.m. service in Sutton.
8.00a.m. Holy Communion  will continue as before.
On the FOURTH Sunday of month the service in Church Broughton will be 8.00a.m. Holy Communion  (NO 9.30a.m. Service)

Sunday Groaner
Going going...
Auctioneer: “Now what am I offered for this beautiful bust of Robert Browning?”
Man in crowd: “That isn’t Browning – that’s Shakespeare!”
Auctioneer: “ Sorry – just goes to show how much I know about the Bible.”
You are what you eat
“Tell me what you eat, and I’ll tell you what you are,” said the pub’s philosopher.
Whereupon a meek little man, sitting a few feet away, called softly to the waitress: “Cancel my order for prawn salad, please.”
Shape
Teacher: “What is the shape of the earth, John?”
John: “It is round.”
Teacher: “How do you know it’s round?”
John: “All right, it’s square, then. I don’t want to start an argument with you.”
Nouns
Name three collective nouns.
Dustpan, dustbin, and vacuum cleaner.
Grows
The fastest growing thing in nature is a fish – from the time the fisherman catches it until the time he can tell someone all about it.
Game
Woman over telephone: “Are you the game warden?”
Game warden: “Yes, madam.”
Woman: “Well thank goodness, I have the right person at last! Would you mind suggesting some games suitable for a children’s party?”

Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings 2 Samuel 6.1-5,12b-19; Ephesians 1.3-14; Mark 6.14-29
We remember in our prayers
Today
Portsmouth - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Dr Kenneth Stevenson
Jabalpur: Bishop Prem Chand Singh
Monday Pretoria - (South Africa) The Rt Revd Dr Johannes T Seoka
Suffragan Bishop of Pretoria - (South Africa) The Rt Revd Mazwi Ernest Tisani
MMA 11 - East Scarsdale Team - Pleasley, Shirebrook
Tuesday Puerto Rico - (Province IX, USA) The Rt Revd David Andres Alvarez-Velazquez
Clergy: John Hargreaves, Barbara Dale Wednesday Pune - (North India) The Rt Revd Vijay Bapurao Sathe
Upper Langwith with Langwith Bassett, Whaley Thorns
Thursday Qu'Appelle - (Rupert's Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Gregory Kerr-Wilson
Clergy: John Hargreaves, Barbara Dale
Friday Quebec - (Canada, Canada) The Most Revd Alexander Bruce Stavert
Bishop Coadjutor of Quebec - (Canada, Canada) The Rt Revd Dennis Drainville
The Sitwell Group MMA - Elmton, Creswell, Whitwell, Steetley
Saturday Quincy - (Province V, USA) 
Clergy: David Hull
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 5
8.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
1.00p.m.-5.00p.m. Tea & Cakes in the Garden -in the Gardens of The Mews and Thatched Farm, Radbourne
Admission £2 Refreshments available - Plant Stall
6.00p.m. Holy Communion - DOVERIDGE
This will be Rev Joe Cant’s first celebration of Holy Communion
Wednesday
10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
6.30p.m. Long Lane Fete
Thursday
7.30p.m. Longford PCC
Friday
7.00p.m. Hawaiian Family Fun Evening - Boylestone
Next Sunday - Trinity 5
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Holy Baptism - Dalbury
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
12noon Holy Communion - Trusley (May be slightly latr)
6.30p.m. Come & Sing - Mendelssohn’s St Paul - Sudbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Advance Notice
Sunday 25th July Strawberry Tea - Trusley Memorial Hall
Sunday Groaner
Those teenagers around your house this summer...
Have you ever thought how much they have in common with cats?
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
4. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
5. Both cats and teenagers eat some very odd things – at very odd hours.
6. Cats are obsessed with themselves and their appearance. Teenagers....!
7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers act as if they did.
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings 2 Samuel 5.1-5,9-10; 2 Corinthians 12.2-10; Mark 6.1-13
We remember in our prayers
Today Patna - (North India) The Rt Revd Philip Phembuar Marandih
Those to be deaconed at 10.45am at Derby Cathedral today Val Billings, Keith Cocking, Jane Legh, Jane Lyon, Carollyn McDonald, Jo Morris, Ruth Turner, Dawn Andrea Glen, David Battison
Monday Pelotas - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Renato Raatz
MMA 9 - Calow, Sutton-cum-Duckmanton
Tuesday Pennsylvania - (Province III, USA) The Rt Revd Charles Ellsworth Bennison
Clergy: Michael Champneys
Wednesday
Perth - (Western Australia, Australia) The Most Revd Roger Adrian Herft
Perth - Goldfields Country Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Tom Wilmot
Perth - Northern Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Mark Burton
Perth - Southern Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Kay Goldsworthy
Brimington. Clergy: Malcolm Shaw
Thursday Peru - (South America) The Rt Revd Harold William Godfrey
Bolsover. Clergy: Trevor Hicks
Friday Peshawar - (Pakistan) The Rt Revd Munawar Kenneth Rumalshah
MMA 10 - Ault Hucknall, Scarcliffe
Saturday Peterborough - (Canterbury, England) Vacant
Peterborough - Brixworth - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Francis White
Clergy: Tony Bell
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 4
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins - Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Thursday 7.30p.m. Radbourne PCC
Next Sunday - Trinity 5
8.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
1.00p.m.-5.00p.m. Tea & Cakes in the Garden -in the Gardens of The Mews and Thatched Farm, Radbourne
Admission £2 Refreshments available - Plant Stall
6.00p.m. Holy Communion - DOVERIDGE
This will be Rev Joe Cant’s first celebration of Holy Communion
Advance Notice
Long Lane Fete - Wednesday 15th July
ST JAMES THE LEAST OF ALL
The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
Since your church is a former cinema, I suspect that were the floor to be removed, cigarette ash, sweet wrappings and tickets for the last Charlie Chaplin film would be revealed. Our marble flooring in the chancel was raised last week to try and find the rat that had died on an underfloor heating pipe. It made its presence so un-ignorable last Winter that it gave me the excuse to use incense.
But we have made an exciting discovery: the long lost crypt containing the tombs of the Lords Staveley, who flourished in this area until a little domestic disagreement with Henry II made the family realise that life in Italy might be pleasanter if they wished to retain their heads. The stone from their manor house soon became our lady chapel; an example of re-cycling as a euphemism for theft.
Inevitably, as soon as we had made the discovery, rumours of vast treasure flew round the parish. Long before anyone had descended into it, the treasurer had the fortune earmarked for re-wiring the church, the organist decided it should be spent on enlarging the organ, and Mrs Millington had decided it should keep the flower arrangers in chicken wire until the next millennium-but-one. I confess that even I toyed with the idea of a conservatory with discreet drinks cabinet at the rectory.
Sadly, it was not to be. Our ‘treasure’ consisted of rows of coffins in various stages of decay, enough bat droppings to keep our Verger’s vegetable patch enriched for the coming year and long-lost peppermints dropped by generations of choristers sitting above, as they munched their way through the sermons.
Later that evening, when the workmen had left, I decided to have one last look. Taking a torch, I descended the stone steps, but lost my footing. The now-broken torch went one way and I another. After floundering round in total darkness and unable to find the stairs to get out, I resigned myself to an uncomfortable night in the crypt until daybreak.
In the early hours, I heard steps on the same stairs and in their torchlight, saw it was someone who must have heard the rumours of treasure and decided to liberate some of it. He, too, tripped, fell and lost his torch and in the total darkness I heard him fumbling about at the other end of the crypt among the coffins.
Intending to be helpful, I shouted out that I’d been trying to get out of here myself for a long time and had never made it, so he may as well give up. But do you know, he found his way out in no time.

Your loving uncle,

Eustace
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

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Readings 2 Samuel 1.1,17-27; 2 Corinthians 8.7-15; Mark 5.21-43
We remember in our prayers
Today Patna - (North India) The Rt Revd Philip Phembuar Marandih
Bolsover and Staveley - Rural Dean: Trevor Hicks, Lay Chair: June Palmer
Monday Pelotas - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Renato Raatz
MMA 8 - Staveley, Barrow Hill, Hasland, Inkersall and Temple Normanton
Tuesday Pennsylvania - (Province III, USA) The Rt Revd Charles Ellsworth Bennison
Clergy: William Butt, Malcolm Ainscough, Martin Daniels, Brian Hoskins, Derek Booth, Ian Falconer
Wednesday Perth - (Western Australia, Australia) The Most Revd Roger Adrian Herft
Perth - Goldfields Country Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Tom Wilmot
Perth - Northern Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Mark Burton
Perth - Southern Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Kay Goldsworthy
Barrow Hill, Inkersall
Thursday Peru - (South America) The Rt Revd Harold William Godfrey
Clergy: Martin Daniels
Friday Peshawar - (Pakistan) The Rt Revd Munawar Kenneth Rumalshah
Hasland and Temple Normanton
Saturday Peterborough - (Canterbury, England) Vacant
Peterborough - Brixworth - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Francis White
Clergy: Malcolm Ainscough
Those to be priested at 4.00pm today
At Tideswell: Mark Broomhead, Richard England, Rob Heeley, Sally Mason, Andrew Taylor-Cook.
At Ashbourne: Joe Cant, Mike Doyle, Val Hart, Andy Hutchinson, Peter Mallinson, David Railton, Jo Whitehead Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 3
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Mattins - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Monday 8.00p.m. Sutton PCC - Village Hall
Wednesday 10.30am Holy Communion - Long Lane
Saturday 1.00p.m. Holy Baptism - Dalbury
4.00p.m. Ordinations - Ashbourne
Next Sunday - Trinity 4
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins - Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Advance Notice
Thursday 9th July 7.30p.m. Radbourne PCCSunday Groaner
Take the biscuit
At a children’s party there were just enough biscuits for each child to have three. But young Charles snatched four. “You’re supposed to get only three, Charles,” said his hostess. “You ought to put the fourth one back.”
“I can’t!” protested Charles. “I ate that one first.” .
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings
1 Samuel 17.(1a,4-11,19-23)32-49; 2 Corinthians 6.1-13; Mark 4.35-41
We remember in our prayers
Today Oturkpo - (Province of Jos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd David Bello
Gujarat: Bishop V.M. Malaviya
Monday Owerri - (Province of Owerri, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Dr Cyril Chukwunonyerem Okorocha
Youlgrave, Middleton, Stanton in Peak and Birchover
Tuesday Owo - (Province of Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd James Adedayo Oladunjoye
Clergy: (Vacant)
Wednesday Oxford - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd John L Pritchard
Oxford - Buckingham - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Dr. Alan Thomas Lawrence Wilson
Oxford - Dorchester - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Colin William Fletcher
Oxford - Reading - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Stephen Geoffrey Cottrell
Retired Clergy (Bakewell & Eyam): Tom Askey, Peter Bird, Michael Collier, Graham Foster, Michael Gowdey, Laurence Gush, Ian Hawkins, Robert Jones, George May, Ethel Milroy, Brian Pritchard, Clive Thrower, Tim Yates
Thursday Oyo - (Province of Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jacob Fasipe
Chaplaincy among Deaf People - Mark Smith
Friday Panama - (Central America) The Rt Revd Julio Murray
University Chaplaincy - Chris Hodder, Ginny Jordan and colleagues
Saturday Paraguay - (South America) The Rt Revd John Alexander Ellison
Scripture Union - Chair: Ruth Nicholls. Church Lads and Church Girls Brigade - Organiser for the Diocese: Mrs G Smith
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 2
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
12.15p.m.(NB time) Holy Communion - Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Friday
7.00p.m. Line Dance - Elms Farm, Thurvaston Tickets £2
Saturday 1.00p.m. Wedding - Long Lane
Next Sunday - Trinity 3
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Mattins - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Sunday Groaner
Wedding report in local newspaper
The bridal veil was fragile net,
the bridal gown was lace.
The bride wore slippers on her feet,
a smile upon her face.
The bride wore gloves of softest silk,
bright garlands graced her hair,
her large bouquet was softest pink...
PS: The groom was also there.
**
You know you are having a senior moment when you enter a revolving door, and then you can’t remember whether you were going out or coming in.
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings 1 Samuel 15.34 - 16.13 or Ezekiel 17.22-24; 2 Corinthians 5.6-17; Mark 4.26-34
We remember in our prayers
Today Ondo - (Province of Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd George L Lasebikan
Eastern Himalaya: Bishop Probal Kanto Dutta
Monday Ontario - (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd George Bruce
MMA 7, Eyam, Foolow, Baslow
Tuesday Oregon - (Province VIII, USA) The Rt Revd Johncy Itty
Clergy: Andrew Montgomerie
The Rev'd Carl Edwards to be licensed Priest-in-Charge of Fairfield, and Assistant Curate within the Buxton Team Ministry, with special responsibility for King Sterndale
Wednesday Orlu - (Province of Owerri, Nigeria) The Most Revd Bennett C I Okoro
Curbar and Stoney Middleton, Wardlow, Edensor
Thursday Osaka - (Japan) The Rt Revd Samuel Osamu Ohnishi
Clergy: Christopher Benson, David Garnett
Friday Osun - (Province of Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd James Afolabi Popoola
Bakewell, Over Haddon, Ashford, Sheldon, Rowsley, Great Longstone
Saturday Ottawa - (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd John Holland Chapman
Clergy: Tony Kaunhoven, Paul Hoskins
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 1
8.30a.,m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong - Longford
No Wednesday Holy Communion
Thursday 7.00p.m. PCC - Boylestone

Next Sunday - Trinity 2
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
12.15p.m.(NB time) Holy Communion - Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Radbourne Fete
Thank you to all those who helped or supported Radbourne Fete last Sunday. Despite the weather, we went ahead (in the shelter of the church) and the wonderful total of £869-46 was raised for church funds
Thank you to those who helped or supported Longford Fete and Church Broughton Teddy Parachuting. Thie Parish Pump went to press before the events took place!Sunday Groaner
Where there’s smoke...
One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about five, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible.
This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector. My son immediately raised his hand: “It means Daddy's cooking dinner." Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings 1 Samuel 15.34 - 16.13 or Ezekiel 17.22-24; 2 Corinthians 5.6-17; Mark 4.26-34
We remember in our prayers
Today Ondo - (Province of Ondo, Nigeria) The Rt Revd George L Lasebikan
Eastern Himalaya: Bishop Probal Kanto Dutta
Monday Ontario - (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd George Bruce
MMA 7, Eyam, Foolow, Baslow
Tuesday Oregon - (Province VIII, USA) The Rt Revd Johncy Itty
Clergy: Andrew Montgomerie
The Rev'd Carl Edwards to be licensed Priest-in-Charge of Fairfield, and Assistant Curate within the Buxton Team Ministry, with special responsibility for King Sterndale
Wednesday Orlu - (Province of Owerri, Nigeria) The Most Revd Bennett C I Okoro
Curbar and Stoney Middleton, Wardlow, Edensor
Thursday Osaka - (Japan) The Rt Revd Samuel Osamu Ohnishi
Clergy: Christopher Benson, David Garnett
Friday Osun - (Province of Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd James Afolabi Popoola
Bakewell, Over Haddon, Ashford, Sheldon, Rowsley, Great Longstone
Saturday Ottawa - (Ontario, Canada) The Rt Revd John Holland Chapman
Clergy: Tony Kaunhoven, Paul Hoskins
Notices for the week
Today - Trinity 1
8.30a.,m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
5.00p.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Evensong - Longford
No Wednesday Holy Communion
Thursday 7.00p.m. PCC - Boylestone

Next Sunday - Trinity 2
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
12.15p.m.(NB time) Holy Communion - Trusley
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Radbourne Fete
Thank you to all those who helped or supported Radbourne Fete last Sunday. Despite the weather, we went ahead (in the shelter of the church) and the wonderful total of £869-46 was raised for church funds
Thank you to those who helped or supported Longford Fete and Church Broughton Teddy Parachuting. Thie Parish Pump went to press before the events took place!Sunday Groaner
Where there’s smoke...
One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about five, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible.
This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector. My son immediately raised his hand: “It means Daddy's cooking dinner." Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings Acts 2.1-21; John 15.26-27; 16.4b-15
Readings at Long Lane1 Kings 8:22-30; 1 Peter 2:1-10
We remember in our prayers
Today Ogbomoso - (Province of Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Matthew OsunadeChurch Mission Society - Mid Africa Ministry of CMS 
Monday Ogoni - (Province of Niger Delta, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Solomon Gberegbara
South American Missionary Society - Representative: John Jacklin
The Rev'd Colin Pearson, Curate of All Saints, Mickleover, to become Assistant Curate of Breadsall, and also assist in the Training and Development Team at Derby Church House.
Tuesday Ohio - (Province V, USA) The Rt Revd Mark Hollingsworth
Crosslinks - Representative: Tim Houghton
Wednesday Oji River - (Province of the Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Amos Amankechinelo Madu
Intercontinental Church Society - Representative: Ian Hunter
Thursday Oke-Ogun - (Province of Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Solomon Amusan
Leprosy Mission - Area Co-ordinator: Pamela Levens
Friday Oke-Osun - (Province of Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Nathaniel FasogbonMission to Seafarers - Regional Contact: R Hearman
Saturday Okigwe North - (Province of Owerri, Nigeria) The Ven Godson Ukanwa
Retired clergy (Ashbourne): Colin Johnson, Bill Rumball, Derek Tinsley, Edmund Urquhart, Kenneth Watson
Notices for the week
Today - Pentecost - Whitsun Day
LONG LANE FLOWER FESTIVAL
11a.m. United Holy Communion - Trusley
7.00p.m. Songs of Praise - Long Lane
Next Sunday - Trinity Sunday
8.00a.m.Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.00a.m. Mattins - Trusley
11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Radbourne Fete from 2.00p.m. at the Old Rectory
Advance Notice
Teddy Bear Parachuting from Church Broughton Church Tower on Saturday 13th June from 3.00p.m.
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings Acts 1.15-17,21-26; 1 John 5.9-13; John 17.6-19
We remember in our prayers
Today Anglican Communion Sunday
Ashbourne Deanery - Rural Dean (Vacant), Lay Chair: Clive Chipchase 
Monday Northwestern Pennsylvania - (Province III, USA) The Rt Revd Sean Walter Rowe
Fenny Bentley, Thorpe, Alsop en le Dale, Parwich
Tuesday Norwich - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Graham James
Norwich - Lynn - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd James Henry Langstaff
Norwich - Thetford - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd David John Atkinson
Clergy: (Vacant)
Wednesday Nova Scotia & Prince Edward Island - (Canada, Canada) The Rt Revd Susan Elizabeth Moxley
Nova Scotia & Prince Edward Island - (Canada, Canada) The Rt Revd Ronald Cutler
Hulland, Atlow, Bradley, Hognaston, Kniveton
Thursday Nsukka - (Province of the Niger, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Jonah C Ilonuba
Clergy: Christopher Mitchell Friday  Nyahururu - (Kenya) The Rt Revd Charles Gaikia GaitaBrailsford, Shirley, Osmaston, Edlaston, Yeaveley
Saturday Offa - (Province of Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Gabriel Akinbolarin Akinbiyi
Clergy: Paul Taylor, Andy Larkin
Notices for the week
Today - 7th Sunday of Easter
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Mattins - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Monday Duck Race - Brook Farm Boylestone from 4.00p.m
Friday to Sunday - Flower Festival celebrating 150 years of Christ Church, Long Lane closing with Songs of Praise at 7.00p.m.
Next Sunday - Pentecost - Whitsun Day
11a.m. United Holy Communion - Trusley
7.00p.m. Songs of Praise - Long Lane
Please let the Rector have your hymn requests as soon as possible.
Advance Notice
Teddy Bear Parachuting from Church Broughton Church Tower on Saturday 13th June from 3.00p.m.
Sunday 7th June - Radbourne Fete from 2.00p.m. at the Old Rectory
Beware the Summer Strawberry Tea
The Rectory
St. James the Least
My dear Nephew Darren
Never, ever feel aggrieved that your summer strawberry tea has to be held in the church hall rather than on a lawn, since there isn’t a single blade of grass to be found in your entire parish. You have no idea of the potential calamities you are avoiding.
Here, during the previous week, the organisers will be desperately asking the opinion of local farmers about the weather. In doing so, they forget that for the farming community, it is always the wrong sort of weather anyway. I once received a heartfelt plea from the staff at Heathrow airport for our ladies to stop calling them at hourly intervals to find out if hurricanes may be imminent.
Naturally, the day will start out warm and sunny and so all the tables will be arranged on the vicarage lawn. By 10am, tablecloths will have been laid. By 10.10am, a brisk breeze will have sprung up and someone will be delegated to retrieve them all from deep within the nettle patch. By 11am, clouds will gather and a decision will be made to transfer everything into the church hall. Once that is completed, just when it is almost too late to change, the sun will re-emerge and there will be a frantic dash to put everything back on the lawn. This ensures that by 2pm when teas start, the ladies will already be in a state of collapse.
Last year, the dowager duchess of Trilby graced us with her presence. As she sat with her entourage, elegantly sipping tea under a giant parasol over the table, the thing – equally elegantly – closed around her, leaving her looking like one of those unfortunate insects trapped by a carnivorous plant. To emerge from its depths looking entirely unflustered was beyond even her social skills.
Fortunately, attention was diverted from her predicament by the wife of one of our farmers. This substantial lady had been sitting in a chair with slightly too thin legs for the damp lawn. The rear two slowly sank into the grass, eventually catapulting the dear lady backwards into the lap of the local mayor. Disentangling red flannelette from mayoral chains took some time, and delicacy.
At least when I have had enough, the lawn can be cleared in minutes by drawing the raffle. The moment the last rubber shower cap and set of Christmas doilies has been awarded, there will be a dash to get home, giving my dog the opportunity to retrieve remnants of cream cakes from the flower beds.
Your loving uncle,
Eustace

Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk
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Readings Acts 10.44-48; 1 John 5.1-6; John 15.9-17

Reading at Longford & Long Lane Isaiah chapter 28:24 to 29
We remember in our prayers
Today Northern Mexico - (Mexico) The Rt Revd Marcelino Rivera-Delgado
Durgapur: Bishop Probal Kanto Dutta
Monday Northern Michigan - (Province V, USA) Vacant
MMA 5 - Swanwick & Pentrich
Tuesday Northern Philippines - (Philippines) The Rt Revd Brent W
AlawasClergy: Tom Johnson
Wednesday Northern Territory, The - (Queensland, Australia) The Rt Revd Gregory Edwin Thompson
Retired clergy (Alfreton): Peter Boyden, Robert Caney, Ray Taylor, Roy Wilson, Tony Morgan, Bob Paget
Thursday Northern Uganda - (Uganda) The Rt Revd Nelson Onono-Onweng
Ascension: Diocesan Prayer & Spirituality Group - Bishop's Adviser on Spiritual Direction: Glenis Page
Friday Northern Zambia - (Central Africa) The Rt Revd Albert Chama
MMA 30: Ashbourne with Mappleton, with Ashbourne St John; Clifton; Norbury and Snelston
Saturday Northwest Texas - (Province VII, USA) The Rt Revd C Wallis Ohl
Clergy: Geraldine Pond, Mike Doyle
Notices for the week
Today - 6th Sunday of Easter
8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
12noon. Holy Communion - Trusley
7.000p.m. Rogation Service & Walk - Long Lane (Come suitably dressed)
Thursday - Ascension Day
10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
Friday 6.00p.m. Sutton Fete - Cricket Field
Next Sunday - 7th Sunday of Easter
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
9.30a.m. Mattins - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
Advance Notice
Duck Race - Brook Farm Boylestone on Monday 25th May from 4.00p.m
.Flower Festival celebrating 150 years of Christ Church, Long Lane on Friday 29th May to Sunday 31st May
closing with Songs of Praise at 7.00p.m.
on Sunday 31st May Let the rector have your hymn requests.
Sunday 31st May 11a.m. United Holy Communion - Trusley
Teddy Bear Parachuting from Church Broughton Church Tower on Saturday 13th June from 3.00p.m.
Sunday 7th June - Radbourne Fete from 2.00p.m. at the Old Rectory
Today is Rogation Sunday
Rogation means an asking of God - for blessing on the seed and land for the year ahead. It is appropriate in any emergency, war, plague, drought or foul weather.
The practice began with the Romans, who invoked the help of the gods Terminus and Ambarvalia. In those days a crowd moved in procession around the cornfields, singing and dancing, sacrificing animals, and driving away Winter with sticks. The people wanted to rid the cornfields of evil.
In about 465 Europe was suffering from earthquake, storm and epidemic. So Mamertius, Bishop of Vienne, aware of the popular pagan custom, ordered that prayers should be said in the ruined or neglected fields on the days leading up to Ascension. With his decision, ‘beating the bounds’ began to become a Christian ceremonial.
Rogation-tide arrived in England early in the eighth century, and became a fixed and perennial asking for help of the Christian God. On Rogation-tide, a little party would set out to trace the boundaries of the parish. At the head marched the bishop or the priest, with a minor official bearing a Cross, and after them the people of the parish, with schoolboys and their master trailing along. Most of them held slender wands of willow.
At certain points along the route - at well-known landmarks like a bridge or stile or ancient tree, the Cross halted, the party gathered about the priest, and a litany or rogation was said, imploring God to send seasonable wealth, keep the corn and roots and boughs in good health, and bring them to an ample harvest.
At one point beer and cheese would be waiting for the walkers. In the days when maps were neither common nor accurate, there was much to be said for ‘beating the bounds’ - still very common as late as the reign of Queen Victoria. Certainly parish boundaries rarely came into dispute, for everyone knew them. (Do you know yours today?)
Sunday Groaners
Worth remembering.
A man felt he was overloaded in the ‘trouble shooting department’ of his office, until he found this memo on his desk. “Be thankful for the problems, for if they were less difficult, someone with less ability would have your job.”
Asleep
A young man fell asleep in the Sunday morning service, and began to snore. The preacher stopped and impatiently motioned to the young boy beside the man to wake him up. The boy said: “Wake him up yourself, you put him to sleep.”
Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

Readings Acts 10.34-43;  1 Corinthians 15.1-11;  John 20.1-18
We remember in our prayers
Today World Council of Churches
Monday Nevada - (Province VIII, USA) The Rt Revd Dan Edwards
Stapenhill Immanuel, Winshill
Tuesday New Busa - (Province of Ibadan, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Israel Amoo
Clergy: Brian Leathers, Michael Mookerji
Wednesday New Guinea Islands, The - (Papua New Guinea) The Rt Revd Allan Migi
MMA 57 - Stapenhill St Peter, Caldwell
Thursday Bishop of New Hampshire - (Province I, USA) The Rt Revd V. Gene Robinson
Clergy: Michael Andreyev
Friday New Jersey - (Province II, USA) The Rt Revd George E Councell
Retired clergy (Repton): Len Carpenter, Derek Dolman, George Goodall, Len Haynes, Ian Jarvis, Stanley Morris, Colin Thomas, Geoffrey Willett, Ian Winterbottom
Saturday New Westminster - (British Columbia & the Yukon, Canada) The Rt Revd Michael C Ingham
Retired clergy (Wirksworth): Andy Barker, John Colbourn, John Cooper, John Drackley, John Flory, John Marshall, Bob Rhodes, Brian Smith, Peter Vessey, John Williams
Notices for the week
Today - Easter Day
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
3.00p.m. Holy Communion - Dalbury
6.30p.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
6.30p.m. Holy Communion - Longford
Wednesday 10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
Thursday 12.30p.m. Funeral of Lucy Moss-Blundell - Dalbury
Friday 2,30p.m. Funeral of Denis Leake - Doveridge
Next Sunday - 2nd Sunday of Easter
8.00.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
12noon Holy Communion - Trusley
2.30p.m. Final Service in Sutton Methodist Church
7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
Annual Parochial Church Meetings
Wednesday 22 April 7.30p.m. Radbourne
Tuesday 28 April - 7.30p.m. Church Broughton
Meeting at Dalbury to be fixed
Did you see Long Schoolchildren on BBC East Midlands News?
If you missed it and have access to the internet you can view it at:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7992508.stm
The children are talking about what Easter is about.
Sunday Groaner
A cowboy’s view of Palm Sunday
There was once a cowboy who listened attentively to the story of the first Palm Sunday.  After hearing it, he had only one small response to make to the story.  In his own straight-forward way, the cowboy simply stated, Jesus must have had wonderful hands.  But his words only confused the others around him.  Out of curiousty they asked, What do you mean by that statment?  Well, the  cowboy replied, if Jesus could sit on a colt on which no-one had ever sat, an untried, unbroken animal; if he could soothe it and control it and guide it while people were shrieking hosannas in its ears, waving the branches of palm trees in front of its eyes, and throwing down clothes in front of its feet, Jesus must have had wonderful hands!
The Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk