Posts archive for: July, 2009
  • Parish Pump 26th July 2009

    SWINE FLU AND HOLY COMMUNION
    Advice received from the Archbishops and the Bishop of Derby is that in view of the threat of the spread of Swine Flu, the sharing of the Cup at Holy Communion should be suspended. Holy Communion will be administered either in one Kind or  by “intinction” (the priest dips the Bread in the wine). Anti-bacterial gel will be used by the priest before handling the Elements. Copies of the Archbishops’ & Bishop’s letter read as follows:-
    Dear Colleague,
    The Archbishops of Canterbury and York have sent the following statement regarding the current Swine Flu situation.
    I think it would be sensible to follow these procedures until further notice.
    +Alastair
    To: Diocesan Bishops
    The Feast of St Mary Magdalene
    22nd July 2009
    Dear Colleague,
    It now seems right to offer guidance at a national level about how the Church of England’s worship might best take into account the interests of public health during the current phase of the swine flu pandemic.
    The Department of Health have recently advised us that “in a pandemic it makes good sense to take precautions to limit the spread of disease by not sharing common vessels for food and drink”. In the light of this advice, we recommend those presiding at Holy Communion suspend the administration of the chalice during this wave of pandemic flu_1_ . For those who still wish to offer in both kinds, we recommend the practice whereby the presiding minister, whose hands should have been washed with the appropriate alcohol-based rub before handling the elements and the vessels, personally intincts all wafers before placing them in the hands of communicants. This is a practice widely observed in Anglican churches throughout Africa. Communicants receiving in this way need to be confident that the clergy and all assistant ministers follow the relevant guidance on hygiene.
    The Bishop of Ripon & Leeds circulated substantial guidance, including a summary of the government’s advice_2_ , with his letter of 23 June_3_ . Many of you have already issued local guidance based upon its content. We regard it as important that those presiding at Holy Communion are aware of this advice_4_ and of that contained in this letter. They should offer guidance to the congregation about appropriate precautions in receiving communion and exchanging the peace.
    We shall keep this advice under review and will ensure that the detailed guidance provided on the Church of England website_5_ is kept up-to-date. In the meantime, we wish to express our gratitude to you and those who share your ministry for the pastoral care and service offered at this time of national concern.
    +Rowan Cantuar: +Sentamu Ebor:
    Readings 2 Samuel 11.1-15; Ephesians 3.14-21;  John 6.1-21
    We remember in our prayers
    Today

    Rhode Island - (Province I, USA) The Rt Revd Geralyn Wolf
    Buxton Deanery: John Goldsmith (Rural Dean), Christine McMullen (Lay Chair)
    Monday
    Rift Valley - (Tanzania) The Rt Revd John Daudi Lupaa 
    Retired Clergy (Bolsover & Staveley): Roy Bradshaw, Pauline Goldsmith, Stephen Goldsmith, Laurence Harris, Gordon Bevan, Derek Booth, Ian Falconer, Norman Harvey, Ernest Hume, Maurice Leeming, Robert Parker, David Wastie
    Tuesday
    Rio de Janeiro - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Celso Franco de Oliveira
    Coadjutor - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Filadelfo Oliviera Neto
    MMA 13 - Buxton, Burbage, King Sterndale
    Wednesday
    Rio Grande - (Province VII, USA)
    Clergy: John Hudghton
    Thursday
    Ripon and Leeds - (York, England) The Rt Revd John Richard Packer
    Ripon and Leeds - Knaresborough - (York, England) The Rt Revd James Harold Bell
    Buxton, Burbage, King Sterndale
    Friday
    Riverina - (New South Wales, Australia) The Rt Revd Douglas Stevens
    Churchwardens of MMA 13
    Saturday
    Rochester - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Michael Nazir-Ali
    Rochester - Tonbridge - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Dr. Brian Colin Castle
    Retired Clergy (Buxton): Philip Bridgwater, Desmond Carnelly, Alan Gibson, Martin Hulbert, Betty Packham, Geoffrey Prime, Don Sparkes
    Notices for the week
    Today - Trinity 7

    9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
    9.30a.m. Mattins - Church Broughton
    9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
    11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton3.00p.m. Strawberry Tea - Trusley Memorial Hall
    6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
    Saturday4.00p.m. Wedding - Church BroughtonNext Sunday - Trinity 8
    8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
    9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
    10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
    11.00a.m. Mattins - Trusley
    11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
    3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
    7.00p.m. Evensong - Long LaneAdvance Notice
    Please note that as from August there will be a change in service arrangements in Church Broughton & Sutton.
    On the THIRD Sunday of the month there will be NO 11a.m. service in Sutton.8.00a.m. Holy Communion  will continue as before.
    On the FOURTH Sunday of month the service in Church Broughton will be 8.00a.m. Holy Communion  (NO 9.30a.m. Service)
    Sunday Groaner
    Faith

    Two ministers were driving in a taxi to the station, and were in some anxiety lest they should miss their train. One of them pulled out his watch and discovered it had stopped. “How annoying! I always put such faith in that watch!”
    “In a case like this,” observed the other, “good works would evidently have worked better.”

    Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

  • Parish Pump 19th July 2009

    Readings 2 Samuel 7.1-14a; Ephesians 2.11-22; Mark 6.30-34,53-56
    We remember in our prayers
    Today The Church of Pakistan The Rt Revd Samuel Azariah Moderator, Church of Pakistan & Bishop of Raiwind
    Kolhapur: Bishop B. R. Tiwade
    Monday Rajasthan - (North India) The Rt Revd Collin Christopher Theodore
    Barlborough, Clowne 
    Tuesday Rayalaseema - (South India) The Rt Revd K B Yesuvaraprasad
    Clergy:John Pinder-Packard
    Wednesday Bishop of Recife - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Sebastiao Armando Gameleira Soares
    Assistant Bishop of Recife - (Brazil) Vacant
    Eckington, Ridgeway
    Thursday Rejaf - (Sudan) The Rt Revd Michael Sokiri Lugor
    Clergy: (Vacant)
    Friday Remo - (Province of Lagos, Nigeria) The Rt Revd Michael FapeKillamarsh,
    Renishaw
    Saturday Renk - (Sudan) Vacant
    Clergy: Helen Guest, Michael Guest
    Notices for the week
    Today - Trinity 5

    8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
    9.30a.m. Mattins Boylestone
    9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
    10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Holy Baptism - Dalbury
    11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
    12noon Holy Communion - Trusley (May be slightly late)
    6.30p.m. Come & Sing - Mendelssohn’s St Paul - Sudbury
    7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
    Tuesday 1.45p.m. Church Broughton Infants “Wedding” in church
    Thursday
    9.30a.m. (approx) School Leavers’ Service - Church Broughton
    2.30p.m. (approx) School Leavers’ Service - Long Lane
    Friday 12noon Funeral of Sidney Hall - Long Lane
    Next Sunday - Trinity 6
    9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Boylestone
    9.30a.m. Mattins - Church Broughton
    9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
    11.00a.m. Family Service - Sutton
    3.00p.m. Strawberry Tea - Trusley Memorial Hall
    6.30p.m. Evensong - Radbourne
    6.45p.m. Evensong - Trusley
    Advance Notice
    Please note that as from August there will be a change in service arrangements in Church Broughton & Sutton.
    On the THIRD Sunday of the month there will be NO 11a.m. service in Sutton.
    8.00a.m. Holy Communion  will continue as before.
    On the FOURTH Sunday of month the service in Church Broughton will be 8.00a.m. Holy Communion  (NO 9.30a.m. Service)

    Sunday Groaner
    Going going...

    Auctioneer: “Now what am I offered for this beautiful bust of Robert Browning?”
    Man in crowd: “That isn’t Browning – that’s Shakespeare!”
    Auctioneer: “ Sorry – just goes to show how much I know about the Bible.”
    You are what you eat
    “Tell me what you eat, and I’ll tell you what you are,” said the pub’s philosopher.
    Whereupon a meek little man, sitting a few feet away, called softly to the waitress: “Cancel my order for prawn salad, please.”
    Shape
    Teacher: “What is the shape of the earth, John?”
    John: “It is round.”
    Teacher: “How do you know it’s round?”
    John: “All right, it’s square, then. I don’t want to start an argument with you.”
    Nouns
    Name three collective nouns.
    Dustpan, dustbin, and vacuum cleaner.
    Grows
    The fastest growing thing in nature is a fish – from the time the fisherman catches it until the time he can tell someone all about it.
    Game
    Woman over telephone: “Are you the game warden?”
    Game warden: “Yes, madam.”
    Woman: “Well thank goodness, I have the right person at last! Would you mind suggesting some games suitable for a children’s party?”

    Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

  • Parish Pump 12 July 2009

    Readings 2 Samuel 6.1-5,12b-19; Ephesians 1.3-14; Mark 6.14-29
    We remember in our prayers
    Today

    Portsmouth - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Dr Kenneth Stevenson
    Jabalpur: Bishop Prem Chand Singh
    Monday Pretoria - (South Africa) The Rt Revd Dr Johannes T Seoka
    Suffragan Bishop of Pretoria - (South Africa) The Rt Revd Mazwi Ernest Tisani
    MMA 11 - East Scarsdale Team - Pleasley, Shirebrook
    Tuesday Puerto Rico - (Province IX, USA) The Rt Revd David Andres Alvarez-Velazquez
    Clergy: John Hargreaves, Barbara Dale Wednesday Pune - (North India) The Rt Revd Vijay Bapurao Sathe
    Upper Langwith with Langwith Bassett, Whaley Thorns
    Thursday Qu'Appelle - (Rupert's Land, Canada) The Rt Revd Gregory Kerr-Wilson
    Clergy: John Hargreaves, Barbara Dale
    Friday
    Quebec - (Canada, Canada) The Most Revd Alexander Bruce Stavert
    Bishop Coadjutor of Quebec - (Canada, Canada) The Rt Revd Dennis Drainville
    The Sitwell Group MMA - Elmton, Creswell, Whitwell, Steetley
    Saturday Quincy - (Province V, USA) 
    Clergy: David Hull
    Notices for the week
    Today - Trinity 5

    8.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
    9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
    11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
    1.00p.m.-5.00p.m. Tea & Cakes in the Garden -in the Gardens of The Mews and Thatched Farm, Radbourne
    Admission £2 Refreshments available - Plant Stall
    6.00p.m. Holy Communion - DOVERIDGE
    This will be Rev Joe Cant’s first celebration of Holy Communion
    Wednesday
    10.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
    6.30p.m. Long Lane Fete
    Thursday
    7.30p.m. Longford PCC
    Friday
    7.00p.m. Hawaiian Family Fun Evening - Boylestone
    Next Sunday - Trinity 5
    8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
    9.30a.m. Mattins Boylestone
    9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
    10.00a.m. Family Service - Longford
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion & Holy Baptism - Dalbury
    11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
    12noon Holy Communion - Trusley (May be slightly latr)
    6.30p.m. Come & Sing - Mendelssohn’s St Paul - Sudbury
    7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
    Advance Notice
    Sunday 25th July Strawberry Tea - Trusley Memorial Hall
    Sunday Groaner
    Those teenagers around your house this summer...
    Have you ever thought how much they have in common with cats?

    1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
    2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
    3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
    4. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
    5. Both cats and teenagers eat some very odd things – at very odd hours.
    6. Cats are obsessed with themselves and their appearance. Teenagers....!
    7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers act as if they did.
    Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

  • Parish Pump 5th July 2009

    Readings 2 Samuel 5.1-5,9-10; 2 Corinthians 12.2-10; Mark 6.1-13
    We remember in our prayers
    Today Patna - (North India) The Rt Revd Philip Phembuar Marandih
    Those to be deaconed at 10.45am at Derby Cathedral today Val Billings, Keith Cocking, Jane Legh, Jane Lyon, Carollyn McDonald, Jo Morris, Ruth Turner, Dawn Andrea Glen, David Battison
    Monday Pelotas - (Brazil) The Rt Revd Renato Raatz
    MMA 9 - Calow, Sutton-cum-Duckmanton
    Tuesday Pennsylvania - (Province III, USA) The Rt Revd Charles Ellsworth Bennison
    Clergy: Michael Champneys
    Wednesday
    Perth - (Western Australia, Australia) The Most Revd Roger Adrian Herft
    Perth - Goldfields Country Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Tom Wilmot
    Perth - Northern Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Mark Burton
    Perth - Southern Region - (Western Australia, Australia) The Rt Revd Kay Goldsworthy
    Brimington. Clergy: Malcolm Shaw
    Thursday Peru - (South America) The Rt Revd Harold William Godfrey
    Bolsover. Clergy: Trevor Hicks
    Friday Peshawar - (Pakistan) The Rt Revd Munawar Kenneth Rumalshah
    MMA 10 - Ault Hucknall, Scarcliffe
    Saturday Peterborough - (Canterbury, England) Vacant
    Peterborough - Brixworth - (Canterbury, England) The Rt Revd Francis White
    Clergy: Tony Bell
    Notices for the week
    Today - Trinity 4
    8.00a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
    9.30a.m. Mattins - Boylestone
    10.00a.m. Family Service - Church Broughton
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Sutton
    11.00a.m. Mattins - Trusley
    11.15a.m. Holy Communion - Longford
    3.00p.m. Evensong - Dalbury
    7.00p.m. Evensong - Long Lane
    Thursday 7.30p.m. Radbourne PCC
    Next Sunday - Trinity 5
    8.30a.m. Holy Communion - Long Lane
    9.30a.m. Holy Communion - Church Broughton
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Radbourne
    11.00a.m. Mattins - Sutton
    11.00a.m. Holy Communion - Trusley
    1.00p.m.-5.00p.m. Tea & Cakes in the Garden -in the Gardens of The Mews and Thatched Farm, Radbourne
    Admission £2 Refreshments available - Plant Stall
    6.00p.m. Holy Communion - DOVERIDGE
    This will be Rev Joe Cant’s first celebration of Holy Communion
    Advance Notice
    Long Lane Fete - Wednesday 15th July
    ST JAMES THE LEAST OF ALL
    The Rectory
    St. James the Least
    My dear Nephew Darren
    Since your church is a former cinema, I suspect that were the floor to be removed, cigarette ash, sweet wrappings and tickets for the last Charlie Chaplin film would be revealed. Our marble flooring in the chancel was raised last week to try and find the rat that had died on an underfloor heating pipe. It made its presence so un-ignorable last Winter that it gave me the excuse to use incense.
    But we have made an exciting discovery: the long lost crypt containing the tombs of the Lords Staveley, who flourished in this area until a little domestic disagreement with Henry II made the family realise that life in Italy might be pleasanter if they wished to retain their heads. The stone from their manor house soon became our lady chapel; an example of re-cycling as a euphemism for theft.
    Inevitably, as soon as we had made the discovery, rumours of vast treasure flew round the parish. Long before anyone had descended into it, the treasurer had the fortune earmarked for re-wiring the church, the organist decided it should be spent on enlarging the organ, and Mrs Millington had decided it should keep the flower arrangers in chicken wire until the next millennium-but-one. I confess that even I toyed with the idea of a conservatory with discreet drinks cabinet at the rectory.
    Sadly, it was not to be. Our ‘treasure’ consisted of rows of coffins in various stages of decay, enough bat droppings to keep our Verger’s vegetable patch enriched for the coming year and long-lost peppermints dropped by generations of choristers sitting above, as they munched their way through the sermons.
    Later that evening, when the workmen had left, I decided to have one last look. Taking a torch, I descended the stone steps, but lost my footing. The now-broken torch went one way and I another. After floundering round in total darkness and unable to find the stairs to get out, I resigned myself to an uncomfortable night in the crypt until daybreak.
    In the early hours, I heard steps on the same stairs and in their torchlight, saw it was someone who must have heard the rumours of treasure and decided to liberate some of it. He, too, tripped, fell and lost his torch and in the total darkness I heard him fumbling about at the other end of the crypt among the coffins.
    Intending to be helpful, I shouted out that I’d been trying to get out of here myself for a long time and had never made it, so he may as well give up. But do you know, he found his way out in no time.

    Your loving uncle,

    Eustace
    Parish Pump & the Benefice entry in the South Derbyshire Churchman can be found on the internet at:-        http://churchbroughtonchurch.blog.co.uk

  • Magazine Entry July 2009

    Magazine  entry July 2009

    http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html

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